spring magic...

I believe in little bits of magic, those things that happen that stir my soul and make me smile.  The ones I can't explain and don't feel the need to.  Because they just "are".

Like birds singing to one another.  I don't know the songs, but they do and there are specific songs I hear as spring is underway and I like that the one who is meant to know the song does; and for the rest of us, it's just a special pleasure.

 (image from google.com)

Little children and their smiles.  While driving my son to school this morning we passed the little ones from the local day care who were out for a walk on this sunny mild morning.  A boy of about 3 was making big eyes at me as we drove past and when I smiled back at him he jumped up and down with glee.  That is magic.

Mama robins who make their nests and tend to their hatching while waiting for the babies to come into the world.  Mama robin who built this nest so close to our front door that I tiptoe when I gently open the door in the hope that I don't frighten her away.  I speak to her in a quiet voice and hope she knows I mean her no harm.  My family think I am just slightly crazy for doing this.  I can't help myself.  It's automatic.

She usually flies off to the fence or the tree beyond the fence and waits until she feels it is safe to return.  She has super sonic sense and hearing that mama!  If she's in the nest and I look out the window of the door, staying in my house, in the foyer, she stops and cocks her head.  I think she hears movement before seeing anyone.  Pure magic.

Books, like "The Peach Keeper" by Sarah Addison Allen.  All of Sarah Addison Allen's books have touches of magic that weave you under the spell.  A bit of lightness and cotton candy for my soul...spun from pure sugar into a belief that anything and all things are possible.  "The Peach Keeper" was no disappointment, finished in nearly one sitting.  I have no particular favourite of this author -- I love each of her creations equally.  Her writing allows me to be that child again...the one who read under the covers at night with a flashlight; the one who made a little tent in the backyard and read all summer long...the one who still believes that there are fairies and angels and magic.

....sleeping dreams...

 Pay attention to your dreams -

God's angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep.  

Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman

i dream most every night

i have conversations with the people in my dreams but sometimes i am silent

i dream in colour but when it is very emotionally charged it seems to be in black and white

i dream of those i love and of those i've lost and of those who sometimes come to visit and surprise me

i dream in raw and naked emotion and i can feel things so very deeply

i don't always understand why i've dreamed what i have

this morning i was left feeling emotionally drained and bereft and i couldn't make sense of what i'd been dreaming

and then it came to me that maybe god had been sending me a message.

and then i found the above quote and i felt content

Free Love Day...

"Free Love Day is a day to promote awareness of suicide and depression, as well as to advocate a LIFESTYLE of unconditional love." created by Justin Murray. 

"I didn't know my mother had it. I think a lot of women don't know their mothers had it; that's the sad thing about depression. You know, you don't function anymore. You shut down. You feel like you are in a void. "

Marie Osmond

If you support this, know someone who has or continues to suffer with depression or has committed suicide, please draw a heart on your wrist to show support.

 

 

Easter's Blessings...

I dyed no eggs.

I didn't hide any eggs.

I did prepare Easter goodies for my children who are just a little bit too old to go scavenging for eggs.

The ham is cooked and ready, the turkey is in the oven.  The sweet potatoes are in there too.  Later I'll make mashed potatoes and do some green beans done in foil on the barbecue.  Might even do the same with the squash.  I have some lamp chops I am going to marinate and put on the grill.

There is dessert...an apple pie, a cheesecake and a carrot cake.  I didn't bake any of them but it's the thought that counts.  

I reached my goal of not eating sugary prepared baked goods over Lent and feel so good that I accomplished the goal I set for myself.  I'm pleased that it wasn't as difficult as I thought it might be.  I'm not sure how much if any of the baked goods I will sample tonight but if I have any, I expect it to be small portions, just for a taste.  I'm hoping that my tongue will tell my head that we really no longer like this!

My mother-in-law will come over from her retirement residence to join us for the meal.  Her 94th Easter.  My son's girlfriend will join us as well...this will be her second Easter with us and it is such a joy to have her at our table and part of our lives.

And I am blessed to have both of my sons here, under the same roof with me and there is a feeling of joy within me at knowing we are within speaking distance and touching distance and hugging distance and kissing the tops of their heads distance.  I hear them joking and laughing with one another and being grown up brothers and it fills my heart with gratitude.

Wishing you all the joys of Easter, of spring, of resurrection and of life.

(egg image from google.com)

Fear & Freedom...

I've been dealing with, or I suppose it's more appropriate to say, "coping" with an intense headache for more than a week.  I "know" that it is sinus, given where the pressure is on my forehead, and the conditions ~ air pressure, rain, allergy season for me (trees, grass, everything beginning to grow again).  I know the signs and symptoms of sinus.  However, there is no question that when a headache lasts this long, my thoughts do turn to the worst and I think "brain mets", that my breast cancer which I haven't been "talking to" for almost 6 years has returned in this mutated form.  It's natural to "go to that place" after a first cancer is diagnosed, what is unnatural is to stay there.  I do accept though that every year I come to the anniversary, and this year it will be 6 years (!), there is that return to the black lagoon of deepest darkest doom...because,"what if?"  So I talk about it and reason about it and know that this too will pass, most likely after I've hit the magic birthday.

I'm keeping a low profile today as the headache also upsets my stomach, but I was overjoyed with my mail delivery today...supplies that I had ordered from Scarlet Lime....something to look forward to over the long weekend...art time, play time, experimenting and enjoying the freedom of expression.

 

Wishing you all a joyous and blessed Easter!

Opening Doors....

Risk is often one of those things we debate with ourselves.  We know there might be danger or there might be failure or disappointment and we hover on the fence trying to decide if it is better to stay where we are, on this side of the fence where we know safety and surety and we are within our comfort zone.  On the other side of that fence lies the unknown and the "what if" and the "maybe I had better not".  How often I've had that conversation with myself.  We rarely debate the positives of going to the other side of the fence.  We don't often say to ourselves that it will be a great experience or it will be the making of us or that much joy awaits us over there.

Sometimes the only way off that fence is when someone opens a door "in" the fence and offers you the opportunity to step through.  There are no guarantees that the other side will in fact be "safe" or welcoming and it means leaving comfort to stretch a bit, to grow and to come out from under the bushel basket which has kept your light dim and dull.  Sometimes we need to go out of that safe place in order to do what it is that we are meant to do.  We do ourselves no favours by staying "small".

Patti Digh opened a door in my fence the first time she put out a call for art for her book, "Four Word Self Help".  I knew that I very much wanted to share my art, my illustrations,  my interpretation of what I could say with art.  Perhaps my work wouldn't be chosen by the editor, but if I didn't send something how would I ever know?  So I screwed up my courage (which I have in abundance!) and I said "this is the time, this is right, this is exactly what you must do" and I did it.  I had no idea what the outcome would be and I had to "trust" that the person choosing the art would understand what I was intending with my submission. And to my delight my work was selected for the book.  And then it was selected again when I submitted for the next book "Creative Is a Verb".

The other day I received my copy of Patti's latest work, "What I Wish For You", which contains another piece of my art.  This one speaks to me the loudest of all the work I have submitted.  I don't believe it is because I am more confident or more experienced, it was the work itself and how it has been placed within the pages of the book.  There is so much more meaning to me this time.

My art is the last piece in the book.  It follows the essay in which Patti talks about her friend Nina who left this earthly life at the hands of one of the cruelest of diseases -- ALS.  We lived through Patti's and Nina's story on her blog and we wept and laughed at times with Patti throughout this story.  I was given an essay in which to create my art to depict what was written.  That this image I put together shows life ending/life beginning; that Patti's book is about what to tell someone you love who is moving into the next stage of life as her daughter was in going to College just represents so much to me.  I felt the connection the moment I looked at that essay in the book.  And I know that there were "bigger" hands than me, or Patti or her editor Mary at work in this.  I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Yesterday I made the comment to a friend that I feel it is time for me to begin opening doors for others and to start carving doors within fences.  He replied that whether I realized it or not I had already done that and I probably had no idea how many people had already been through those doors.  Something to think about.

I owe a very great deal of gratitude to Patti Digh for the work she does, the words she shares, the inspiration she provides, as well as the opportunity for others to realize their potential and their purpose. 

And those last words on that page up there?  "It's in your hands" -- destiny.  Everything we do, want or strive for. Everything we give or receive...it is in our own hands.

(for the links to the books I mention please check on the right sidebar of this blog).

Final Steps....

Yesterday I was sharing how I image transfer to canvas using an ink jet copy.

Today we finish the process.

 Using Golden gel medium (I used a regular gel, semi-gloss but you could use soft gel in any gloss or matte, that is personal preference.  You could also use mod podge in matte or gloss), I covered the entire canvas in an even layer.  I left it to try overnight.

You can see that the canvas now has a "shine" to it and this will protect the image.

This morning I sprayed a workable fixatif to coat the entire piece as an extra protection for the work.  I used Krylon Workable Fixatif but you could use any other sealer you like, such as Folkart Clearcote Acrylic Sealer.  Remember to work in a VERY VENTILATED area when using these products as they are toxic and flammable.  I took mine outside to spray and even bringing them back inside you still "smell" the fumes.

When looking at these pieces today I can still see an outline of where the paper was placed and that's because I only put the gel medium where I wanted the image.  If I had spread gel medium across the entire canvas that may not show up.  

As always with art or anything handmade there are times when it will not be 100% perfect.  I don't believe anything we create is ever 100% perfect (that includes ourselves, our children...).  It is those imperfections that make us and what we create unique.

If you decide to try an image transfer I would love to see what you create!

Studio Time...

I started talking about this project yesterday on facebook and thought I would show the entire process here and then do the reveal for those who were following me yesterday.

There are times when I like to do a transfer on canvas.  I typically make a collage using paper and glue or I'll create one digitally using photoshop.  Once in awhile I'll feel the desire to go through the process of transferring an image onto canvas.  Yesterday I did three.  One contains an error of sorts which I realized as soon as I had put the image onto the canvas.  I don't believe there are mistakes  in art and that whatever you are creating can be changed or added to, or if you are really unhappy with something, you add a layer or two of gesso to a canvas or add some papers and begin again.

The ideal type of printer to use for paper image transfer is laser -- the ink is more permanent and will give you a richer, deeper finish.  I like to use my ink jet because it's cheaper but also because I'm always surprised by what I reveal.  I might be missing a little bit of the image or I might rub off a bit of the image when taking away the layer of paper, but that adds to the charm of the piece.

What I used:

canvas (it need not be expensive -- something from the dollar store will work fine, especially when learning)

gesso

acrylic paint

gel medium or mod podge (I use Golden Gel Medium most often)

paint brush

image that you want to transfer

spray bottle with water

Prepare the canvas by adding a coat of gesso.  This prevents the paint from seeping into the canvas and creates a layer upon which to build.  Allow to dry thoroughly.  If you want to speed things up, you can use a heat gun or a hair dryer to finish the process.

I added one coat of titanium white liquid acrylic paint.  I used Golden, however, any brand of acrylic paint in any colour you choose is fine.  It can be dollar store acrylic paint if you prefer to not get into purchasing expensive brands.  I chose white because of the images I was adding and this was the look I was wanting.  Once again, allow to dry thoroughly.

When the paint was dry, I spread a generous layer of gel medium (this is where you could use mod podge if you prefer to use something less costly) onto the canvas in the area where I was going to place my images.  Be sure to NOT get any medium on the back of the paper...you want to keep that clean and dry.  Be sure to leave some paper around the images so that you have something to pull on to begin the process of removing the paper to reveal the image.  Place the image on top of the gel medium and smooth into place, removing the bubbles that may form.  Fingers are fine for this but I often use an old credit card to smooth over top of the paper.  Allow to dry.  THIS PROCESS TAKES TIME AND IS BEST LEFT OVER NIGHT.

 

Fill a spray bottle with water and saturate the canvas making sure that the paper is very wet.  I have 3 here and I did them one at a time.

 This is how wet the paper needs to be.  You need to have enough water on this so that it seeps through all layers of the sheet of paper.  Do not worry about what it is doing to the canvas or the image.  Just be sure that the paper is good and wet.

 The peeling process begins.  Using a finger, peel the paper from the edge to begin the reveal.  Then continue using a finger and rub over the image and over the paper to begin shredding the piece of paper. A dry paper towel also works as it is rough...but be careful using that over the image itself.

 

You begin to see the image appear.  In some places you might lose part of the image (this is especially true of ink jet images).  I never mind this.  I believe it adds something to the overall effect I want.

The peeling process takes time.  You will likely not get all of the paper off in the first attempt.  Leave it for a bit and then go back adding a little more water to get the last pieces of the paper off the canvas.  You will know that there is still paper there as it will look "dirty".

 And this is the one with the error.  Have you realized where it is?  Yes, it's the letters and the numbers...which are backwards!  When I originally printed this image (it is a Rhonna Farrer which I purchased from her shop), I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it.  When I began prepping canvases yesterday I decided this would look lovely on a canvas and away I went.  If I had been doing this seriously and knew right away what I had wanted to do, I would have printed the image in "reverse", therefore, when I placed it on the canvas the words and numbers would have been facing the correct way upon completion.  All is not lost...I will still use this, perhaps as the background for a collage and the bits I add will cover up the errors, still leaving me with something beautiful.  Layering in art is one of the gifts which can hide a multitude of errors!  Had I not wanted to keep this as it is, gesso or layers papers would allow me to use the canvas again.

Art is.  And patience in this process is as necessary as the tools required.

Tomorrow I will share the final finishing touches.

(cutlery images from The Graphics Fairy; Floral image from Rhonna Farrer)

The Queen of Last Hopes...

A lover of history and historical fiction, I was eager to read Susan Higginbotham's novel of Margaret of Anjou (or Marguerite as her husband King Henry VI fondly referred to her).  History has not been kind to "the French Queen" as she was commonly called by many in a derogatory manner.  Not a well loved Queen during the time of the Wars of the Roses (Red and White roses -- Red representing  Lancaster and White representing York), when civil war split the House of Plantagenet between the House of Lancaster and the House of York.  It also split a Kingdom as each side fought to establish a King on the throne.  Never forgetting that King Henry VI was already the crowned King who sat on the throne.

My love of this period of history was present from 9th grade when we studied the history of England and the United Kingdom.  It is only within the last few years that I realize how closely tied I am to this part of England.  My paternal grandparents came to Canada from England, both in the early part of the 1900s.  My grandfather's family dates back many generations through Yorkshire and my grandmother's family roots very deeply throughout Lancashire.  So I have both sides of this civil war in my veins.

True, the two houses did unite through the Tudor clan when Henry Tudor (a distant relative through the Lancastrian clan) married Elizabeth, daughter of Edward of York, the man who had held the throne after taking it from Henry VI.

Margaret of Anjou stood fast throughout these civil wars.  Her husband may have suffered with madness and with a frail and delicate nature not conducive to battle but Margaret had spirit and backbone.  And they had a son, Edward, the Prince of Wales whom Margaret dearly wanted to protect and see sit upon the throne.

Bad blood runs through families at times and when there is something very large and very coveted at stake, there are often casualties.  In this period in history, beheading, heads placed on pikes and destroying the enemy by any means, the more ruthless the better (meaning, the more permanent the better) were common and often necessary.  Margaret of Anjou was blamed for much and reviled by many and slander and casting aspersions on her character were the most common way to discredit her..  Edward of York while as ruthless, and his brother Richard III who has been blamed for the deaths of his nephews as well as that of Henry VI have been seen through history as strong, virile men.  Women at that time were to be seen and not heard.  It's true that Richard III has been portrayed throughout history as a murderer and an opportunist though I have read novels that challenge those theories.

Susan Higginbotham's novel of Margaret is the first I have read that brings a different light to this Queen.  It reminds me that there are always two sides to a story and often a third that combines the two.  It reminds me that who we are can be depicted by the person who is remembering us, for their own purposes, in less than an honest or redeeming light.

It makes me think about how I will be remembered by those I leave behind and will be remembered in generations to come.  There will never be one definitive story of any of us.  The best we can do is to live our lives as we would like to be remembered and hope that those who tell our stories do so with fondness, love and objectivity.

Learning to Listen....

This caramel crunch cake by Larocca Bakery was the cake I purchased for my son's birthday.  It's one of his favourites.  It's also one of my favourites and choosing this when I am not having sugars and baked goods for Lent was a challenge!  To be fair to myself, I had already decided to "give myself permission" to have a slice if I wanted to.  I'm not sure that isn't "cheating" as far as Lent goes, but a birthday is a special occasion and I decided that if I wanted to have a small slice I would do that and know that I was making a conscious choice and not just "giving in" to temptation.  And surprise, surprise, I didn't have any.  I cut the cake and served up a few slices to those who wanted some and even while cutting into it, I had no DESIRE to have a slice myself.  I wasn't shocked at my reaction, it just seemed "right".  My brain didn't tell my taste buds to tell my stomach, "go on, you know you want this..." ~ my brain said nothing.  I can't even begin to describe how that made me feel other than in control.  That my thoughts and how I was thinking were determining my outcome.  I gave myself permission and knew I wouldn't feel guilt if I said "yes".  Having done that and having not put sugars into my system for 35 days it seems I have lost that "trigger".  I'm impressed!!

Last night I attended my first meditation session which is being offered at The Spa on King and facilitated by Janis Griffin of Spirited Consulting.  I am such a spirit based individual and I am at the point where I want to further investigate awareness, mindfulness, silence and enlightenment.  I learned about alternative therapies and alternative thinking during cancer treatment and was at that time, and continue to be, a firm believer that our minds and our spirits need balance in order to achieve healthy well being.  We began with healing touch which is something I had experienced during chemo and felt very drawn to.  I could feel the energy move throughout my body as it was being done and I had the same feeling last night.  As with anything we undertake in life, if you believe then the experience will be positive.  If you doubt then your mind is already closed to the possibility.

I love that there is routine to this, practice and carving out 3 minutes a day to become centred and close out the outside world to find the silence and balance inside myself.  I'm going to create a meditation corner for myself so that I have a physical place to be while I shut out the noise of the world around me and focus on just being in those moments without thought, care, worry or stress.  Namaste.

(first photograph property of Sherry Smyth.  Other 2 photographs were found through google.com)

Twenty Three Years...A Love Letter

I waited such a long time for you to come into my life.  It seems to hard to believe that it was 23 years ago today when we met.  You didn't make it easy for yourself, or for me, coming into this world.  And my mother's instinct went into overdrive even before I held you in my arms.  I knew you were in distress because your heart rate plummeted with every contraction.  I told the doctor that we needed to do a c-section.  I just knew and he agreed.  When he told me that the cord had been wrapped around your neck twice, I was so grateful that I had listened to my instincts.

A year later, you were out and about, exploring and adventuring and questioning the world around you.  The first time you touched grass was an experience I won't soon forget.  You didn't know what to make of it but you kept on until you were no longer afraid or uncertain.  It seems that is how you have been your whole life.  I've loved giving you those experiences and sharing with you the wonders and the joys of life.

And now that you are graduating from University and moving forward into the next phase of your life, I hope you will always have that sense of wonder and curiosity.  That you will never let fear or uncertainty hold you back.  It's always a mother's wish for her child.  I've been so blessed to call you "my child" and now we move forward to where I can also call you "my friend".

The Keys....

(photograph is property of Susan Templin and may NOT be copied.  This photograph is available for purchase in Sue's etsy shop First Light Photo. Sue is having a sale right now with 20% off the regular price of $25)

Had coffee with a friend this morning, which turned into lunch.  I love a day where time moves slowly, conversation flows and you lose track of time.  A day where moving to the next spot and continuing the enjoyment of one another's company segues into the next part of the day.  

One of the things we talked about was the things we give up, or give up on and the reasons why.  I had been thinking a lot lately about why I gave up piano lessons as a child.  I enjoyed piano and I loved music and I was good at playing.  I wasn't so good about practicing.  Part of that was the time it took away from playing with my friends and part of it was that if I chose to play with  my friends after school and waited until after dinner to practice, my father would be home and he would be paying attention to what I was doing.  Critiquing maybe but it would be more like criticizing and there is such a difference between the two.  I'd freeze up in fear of making a mistake or in fear of being told it was "wrong" and to do it again.  My father played beautifully but I never wanted to be better than him or even as good.  Now, I was 6, 7 and 8 years old at the time.  I started taking lessons before I started school and before I could read and before I really knew what it meant to be criticized and to be made to feel what I was doing wasn't "good enough".  I wasn't strong enough or confident enough at that age to know any better.

When I was old enough to join organizations like Brownies or Explorers (I was an Explorer, it was similar to Brownies but run through the Baptist Church), the night of Explorers conflicted with my piano lessons.  It is certainly possible and probable that my parents offered to switch the night of my piano lessons but I saw this as my "out".  It was the "easy way" of putting the piano and it's excruciating association of critical comments behind me.  I chose to let the piano go.  And really never gave it another thought.

Now that I am older and I suspect wiser, I realize what I gave up.  I knew that I didn't want to be put down, and I knew on a very different level that I didn't want to do anything that also gave my father pleasure.  I wanted to deny him.  And I did.  But at the same time I hurt myself as well.  Children do not know better and they look to their elders to teach them these things.  It took me all these years to realize that yes, I was good enough and had I kept up with the lessons, I might well have been better at the piano than my father.  It took me all these years to realize that we cannot deny the parts of ourselves that are like our parents...the good parts and the less than flattering parts.  It really is what we do with those traits and how we view them that makes the difference.

I no longer desire to play the piano or to start again and see where I would go with it.  It's enough that I know what the story means to me and how it has shaped me.  I didn't understand then you see that I was in control and I was exerting my independence.  I learned that just because you are good at something it doesn't mean you need to do it.  Mostly it was my father wanting me to do something that he was good at and that he could see I shared a talent for.  I didn't want to be told what I "should" do.  If it had really been in my heart to do it, I would have.  And not all of the gifts we are given are meant to be used. 

Monday, Monday

French press coffee to start the day (today it's Seattle's Best 6th Avenue Bistro).

Another dark, dull, rainy start to the day.  It's mild but it's not very pleasant to be out in weather like this.  The sky is a mottled grey with a tint of blue and there are so many clouds blowing past they look like they are running to get out of the way.

I noticed that the buds on the lilac tree are getting bigger and stronger and I know that the rain will help them to continue to grow.  So I accept the necessities of nature and realize that the bit of blue I can see in the sky means that with luck, we'll have bluer skies and sunshine later today.

While I wait for that to happen I think I will do some work in my art journal.  I was having a conversation with a friend last night about anxiety and changing our behaviours and our patterns.  Changing how we view things that happen in life and while my friend is on a discovery through some soul work, work that I have already done, I reminded her that I still, from time to time, need to go back and refresh myself on what matters...and what doesn't.  That being petty and small minded achieves nothing.  Feeling resentment towards someone else doesn't affect that person or make them feel anything -- because they don't know they are being resented.  Resentment only hurts the person feeling it.  And I ask myself...what is going to be gained by feeling resentment?  So clearly, there is some art journaling to be done to work through these questions and these issues.  Are there things in your world, your life that you struggle with and work through?

A little music to create to....

Rainy Day Sunday...

There would be no spring without the rain.

Today it's been heavy, steady rain following up with sky cracking thunder.  A perfect day for being indoors.

 

A perfect day for being right here, in this spot, tucked up tight to dream, to wonder, to wish, to listen to beautiful music, to read beautiful words.  A perfect day to just BE.

Quiet Saturday Night

 
I'm sipping a little white wine (Fish Eye Pinot Grigio) and thinking about things ~ about life; about the past; the present and the future.  Thinking about how I was always "the someone" someone else wanted me to be, or I was trying to model myself after someone else that I respected or thought "had it all".  Most of those people that I thought "had it all", didn't have "anything" really and I wonder to myself, why didn't I know that I had so much more going for me?  I know it now, but I think of what made me feel I needed to be "someone else" or why I lacked the self-confidence to be who I was.  I know better now.  I know that we can only be "who" we are and we are not meant to be like anyone else.

I've been reading...Artful Blogging magazine...I don't buy it often and hadn't bought it in awhile, but I saw it today when I was in Michael's' stocking up on art supplies and I liked the cover.  It was the lavender that did it.

It's nice to look at other people's blogs and see what turns their world and makes them tick.  What delights them and to enjoy the photography and their words.  And it's another reminder that my blog is "mine" and the words are "mine" and the photography is "mine" and it needn't (and better not!) look like anyone else's.

I've just begun Kate Morton's "The Distant Hours" and it promises to be a good read (I'll let you know!).  Having just finished the first book in a trilogy by Karleen Koen, "Through a Glass Darkly", I wanted a bit of a change, although "The Distant Hours" also deals with history.  I have the other 2 books by Karleen here to read but I like to switch things up to keep my interest fresh.

I'm writing my own family history and trying to stay as true to the facts as possible; no question it is tempting to stray off the path and create something romantic and dramatic, but I will do my best to be honest and truthful, sticking to the facts but making them enjoyable and interesting for my children  and those who come after us.  I'd like us to leave our foot print in the world.

Having enjoyed a day of sunshine, mild weather and feeling like anything is possible, I'll sleep on my dreams and continue to plan where they will take me next...or perhaps just wait to see what unfolds as the next part of my story.  Anything is possible in dreams.

What Are You Waiting For?

Is there something you have been meaning to do?  Wanting to do?  Thinking about doing?  Needing to do?  Dreaming about doing?

Do it today.  What are you waiting for?

A Random Sampling...

Middle of the week and so far things are shaping up nicely.  I like the way Lorelei did her post today so I am borrowing her idea...it suits my mood for the day!

* Tomorrow night I begin the first of a 6 part course on mediation which is being offered at the Spa on King, the home and business of my beautiful friend Gillian.  I want to learn to meditate in order to release stress and to be in tune with myself and I am looking forward to being enlightened.  The fact that the woman who teaches the course is also a spiritualist and is often visited by spirits -- and she will share if a spirit has a message for anyone, is the icing on the cake (which I no longer eat) for me.

Photo taken by Sherry Smyth

* I gave up my addiction to all things sweet and bad for me (cakes, cookies, pies, scones, cinnamon buns (okay that one really hurts), danishes, donuts, date squares, turnovers, tarts....) for Lent.  It's been something I have been talking about doing for a long time (removing sugar and fructose from my diet) and as with most things, if you attempt to do them before you are really ready to make the commitment, it won't work.  I chose Lent as a promise to myself and to my faith and it has worked incredibly well.  It has now been 28 days and I feel good.  I feel oh so good.  What really impresses me is the fact that I can walk by these goodies or buy muffins for my family and I don't feel that I am missing anything.  I've had no real cravings to speak of, though now and then the thought will come to me that it would be "nice" but I don't give in to the thought.  If I feel the need for something sweet I have some unsweetened applesauce or jello or yogurt.  The fact that I have lost some weight has been an added bonus.  Will I go back to eating this "garbage" once we reach Easter and Lent is over?  I don't think I will.  I like how I feel these days much better than I like the taste of all those goodies.  If I decide I would like date squares or something like that I can make them myself using a sugar substitute or doing gluten free.  On the whole though I'd rather just avoid it altogether.  I'm not sure how Easter will work as I host the meal and will offer dessert to the others at the table.  Restraint may be needed!!

* I have been reminded over the last few days to not take good health for granted.  I've been dealing with issues of cholesterol and high blood pressure...the cholesterol for awhile, the blood pressure only recently.  Heart disease is the number one killer in my gene pool and while it was cancer that I identify with personally, there is no question that heart disease still lurks under the surface.  My doctor tried me on ezetrol for the cholesterol and it worked but it worked too well, so we switched to lipitor a few months ago.  I had an appointment to see my doctor yesterday to check on things in general and was pleased to see that my cholesterol is better than it has been for years and is within a good margin, and that is on the smallest dose of lipitor.  And my blood pressure is normal once again so no need for medication.  Giving up my sweets and pastry addiction has had so much benefit.  Stress has been present in my life over the last few months dealing with family issues (moving my mother-in-law into a seniors residence) and I was beginning to let it affect me.  I made a commitment to myself 5 years ago that I would no longer allow stress to play a role in my life.  And everything I am doing presently seems to be working...and learning how to meditate will only make that easier.

Marie with a Butterfly Headdress

*I'm continuing to create and play with my art and have some ideas ready to go for other things I wish to develop.  Life is good.

How are things looking for you at the mid-week point?

Uncaged and Ready to Fly...

For quite a few months now I have had it in mind to open another shop on etsy.  I can see exactly what I want it to be, how I want it to feel and what I want it to express.  I've worked on some items for this venture but I hadn't yet taken the steps to begin by listing them for sale.  I'm not really sure what was preventing me from doing it but I do know that I was "getting in my own way", far too often. Seeking "perfection" or waiting for "the right time" or waiting until I felt what I was doing was "good enough", all words and phrases that grate on my nerves...what is perfection?  It's non-existent.  When is the right time?  Now is the only time that is "right".  Good enough?  For who?  By what standards?  That includes other projects that I have had on my mind and in my heart, with writing and expressing myself.  So I have begun moving out of my way and just "starting", and "starting" is sometimes the hardest part.

I created this piece as a reminder to myself to uncage the parts of myself that make me unique, that make me who I am and to take my dreams and set them free.   This is the first (of many to come) listing in my new shop, Indigo Girl Designs.

From there I created another piece, reminding myself to spread my wings and fly -- to allow the child that lies within me, the one who always wanted to soar, to fly, to take off and go but held back because of circumstances and life and environment and a number of other external factors that shaped that child.  It's time that child and I had a chat and we walked hand and hand to that precipice and let ourselves go -- we've got each other...we'll be fine.

Black and Blush

Who knew there were so many kinds and colour tints for black paint?

and this is just a few of the samples carried by Benjamin Moore.  

Shades of purples, blues and greys.

 I'm re-thinking the cream walls to complement, especially after reading this post at The Paper Mulberry.  I've always loved "blush" and if I find just the right combination I think I shall create a small but palatial environment fit for a Queen.